Do you feel compatible in your relationship or do you have doubts as to whether you are compatible with your partner or not? Compatibility in this context is the blending together of two energies (two people) on different levels.
Some people may be compatible or connect on one level only.
Some may find they connect at many more levels.
Some may not connect or be compatible on any level.
There are a number of levels of compatibility when it comes to two people in a relationship, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.
They may both be attracted to each other physically. When they meet it could be love at first sight and both parties may enjoy a very healthy physical relationship, but not necessarily be
compatible on other levels.
A couple could be emotionally compatible, i.e. relating and responding to each other emotionally. Responding in similar ways to emotional situations. They may relate on this level only.
As a couple they may not necessarily engage in a physical relationship quite as much as they will engage in a mental relationship, by this we mean more of a “blending of the minds” when it comes to belief systems and attitudes. They may enjoy lengthy conversations and discussions.
A couple may be said to be compatible because they have similar views on spirituality. They may have had past lives together and now blend with each other as far as attitudes towards God, and spiritual beliefs are concerned.
It may take many years for partners to realise the incompatibility in their relationship. They may need to ask themselves at what levels they were compatible initially if any, and
whether there are sufficient grounds for a relationship. You and only you can decide.
A break-up of a relationship:
A break-up may be inevitable. Outside influences or a third party may be a factor in the break-up of a relationship, but they are not necessarily the cause of a relationship breaking up. It is only one or the other or both of the two people, who have made the connection in the first instance, who can decide, if, when, and how, to break this connection.
At what level was the connection made at the beginning of the relationship?
What are the levels of compatibility in this relationship now?
How strong are these connections?
Do you have any doubts about the compatibility in your relationship?
Do you feel connected to your partner at this moment in time?
Have you or your partner made changes in your individual lives, since you first chose to make a commitment to each other?
One or the other of you, may have chosen to go on a spiritual journey, whilst the other may have decided that they were comfortable to remain where they were at. No one has a right to judge you or decide which is the right road for you to take.
Like the stories of “The House” and “ The Shoes” it may now be time to look at your relationship.
What part are you playing in this relationship, if any?
Is this relationship nurturing for you, body, mind and spirit?
Are you and your partner in step with each other, or do you feel the dance is over for you? If the answer to this is yes, read read the story on “The Dance.”
Are you or your partner game playing? If yes, read the story on “The Game of Life.”
Are you or your partner attempting to control each other? If the answer to this is yes, read the story on “Control.”
Are you enabling each other rather than helping? If the answer to this is yes, read the story on “Enabling.”
Do you respect each other’s boundaries? If the answer to this is no, read up on “Boundaries.”
Is conditioning holding you together? If the answer to this is yes read “The Bird in the Cage.”
Are you trying to take responsibility for what is not yours? If the answer to this is yes, read the story “The Hub of the Wheel."
Do you minimise what is happening for your partner? If the answer to this is yes, read the story on ”Minimising.”
Are the expectations in this relationship too high for both of you? If the answer to this is yes, read the story on “Limitations and Expectations.”
Are you trying to make this relationship work regardless of the signs that it may be over for both of you at this point in time, not necessarily forever, but maybe for the moment? If the answer to this is yes, read the story “The Toy.”
Do you remember when you last connected with your partner if at all?
Allow yourself time to answer these questions honestly. Try not to blame yourself or your partner. In blaming you become powerless.
Allow the feeling rather than the blame.
You may have feelings of guilt when a relationship comes to an end, also self-blame, especially when you see the affects this break-up has had on family and friends. You are responsible for
what you have said and done, but not for the other person’s reaction to it.
Their reaction is based on their past and how past behaviours and reactions have helped them to cope and survive.
Guilt is a very controlling emotion. Try and acknowledge your own feelings of guilt, if there are any, by saying, “It is the best I could do at the time.”
It is the best you could do with the circumstances you were in, and with the knowledge you had at that particular point in time.
It is not necessarily what you would do with the awareness and knowledge you have now. You are still responsible for any part you play in the break-up of the relationship.
A third party may appear on the scene and make a connection with one of these partners at a different level. This can upset the relationship but this is neither right nor wrong, for one person or the other.
The learning experience with the first partner may now be complete, and a time for a learning experience with a second partner and maybe even a third, may be ready to begin. As long as a learning is being experienced with a partner at one or more levels, it may be necessary to remain in that relationship, (connection) until the learning is complete.
If the learning is not complete, one or other of the partners may continue to return to the
other, over and over again in this lifetime. They may also have gone through this process in many other lifetimes.
Many of us resume relationships that were incomplete in previous lifetimes. The completion of the learning may not necessarily involve a long-term relationship. It is important to be aware that when we have outgrown a relationship, the time may have come for us to move on and to also allow the other partner to move on.
Sometimes you may believe that only you can fulfil a need for someone else or you may believe, a certain person can be the only person who can fulfil your needs and wishes. However, your feelings may be telling you to “let go” of this person. It is not your responsibility to try and meet someone else’s needs, or for someone else to try to meet your needs or wishes.
There may be times when you feel the learnings with your present partner difficult and painful. However, if you move from this partner to a new partner before your learning is complete, you
may find yourself returning to him/her again and again, in an effort to complete your learning. It may take you many more lifetimes before meeting this person again, and reconnecting where the previous connection was broken off. This may be necessary, so that you may both continue together once more on your ultimate path of learning.
If you are going through one learning experience, then this is all you have to deal with at this moment in time. When energies like the positive forces i.e. God, the universe, guides, help to unite two people to experience a learning, no man has the right to try to force them apart, or force them to stay together, after their learning is complete.
You both may need professional help for this relationship to survive. You may also need professional help to allow both of you to go on your separate journeys.
No one person is wrong or right when a relationship does not work out. The learning for both of you may be complete for now.
Sometimes it is necessary for a couple to part from each other, so that one or both can gain more from life’s teachings and experiences. This may enable you to be more compatible with each other at a later date, or indeed compatible with a new partner.
No one should be kept in jail a moment after their sentence (their learning in this life) has been served, and no one should be allowed out one moment too soon. If a person escapes and never completes his sentence, he will always be on the run. He will never know where, or when, he might be captured and imprisoned again.
It could be years or it could be many lifetimes – but it will happen.
That which is not joined cannot be broken.
That which is only partially joined, can easily be broken.
• Now, light a candle for yourself.
• Be gentle and patient with yourself.
• Reward yourself for having the courage to take the time to look at your relationship.
• Spend a little time each day meditating.
• Create some quality time for yourself, you deserve the best life has to offer.
• The meeting of like-minded souls is like the beginning of a new cycle in life.
• I know I can be compatible with another person.
• I know there is someone who will be compatible with me.
• I know my soul mate is out there awaiting the day, when we shall meet again on our ultimate path of learning.
• I will be patient whilst awaiting the meeting of my soul mate.