Do you project a message to others “Dump Your Problems Here?” Are you feeling overburdened? Do you feel laden down with other people’s problems and their unresolved issues? Do you have any awareness or insight into what is the cause of those feelings?.
Is your own behaviour contributing in any way to your feelings of being overburdened? Are you taking issues on board that are not yours to resolve? Are you feeling guilty or inadequate when you are unable to resolve the physical, emotional and financial problems of your family or friends?
It may be time now to take a long look at your own behaviour and what you are projecting. It may also be time to take a look at your family and friends, and see how they are reacting to
your behaviour and the messages you are relaying to them.
In the course of our daily lives we may collect garbage both physical and emotional. Most of this does not really belong to us. Conditioning however says that we must hold on to it, and as
time passes by, we may forget where it came from or how we can discard it. Our bodies and our minds may eventually get tired of the burden. All the old angers, hurts and injustices become piled up one on top of the other, and what started out as a small hurt, can become a major issue.
For example if you throw potato skins (which were once quite edible) into the dustbin and then pile in a load of rubbish on top of the skins, all of this waste food eventually becomes rotten. If
you do not deal with minor issues as they happen and then allow more serious issues to be piled on top of them, all of the issues added together over a period of time can become a serious problem.
Anger is an emotion, which can be very close to the surface. A seemingly minor incident could cause an angry reaction. How do we know how many other major and minor incidences that may be buried deep in the body and suppressed for many years? When the bin (the body) becomes overloaded and overburdened, it begins to overflow.
Let us say that your next-door neighbour arrives at your house one day with a large plastic bag full of rubbish, and dumps the contents on the middle of your kitchen floor. Would you tell him that his behaviour is quite acceptable, and that you will sort out all his rubbish for him? Are you more likely to get really annoyed and tell him in no uncertain terms how you feel, and tell him to pick up his rubbish and dump it elsewhere?
Your reaction would most likely be the latter. Why then do you allow emotional and mental rubbish to be dumped on you by family, relatives and friends? Is it because you are conditioned to believe that you must not just “listen” to other people’s problems but that you must actually take them on board and sort out their problems (their rubbish) for them?
You must learn that other people’s problems are not yours, and you do not have the right to take on or try to sort out other people’s garbage.
Whilst problems are far from enjoyable experiences, they may be “set up” at another level to provide a learning experience for us. So when you take someone else’s problem on board and
attempt to solve it, or sort it out for them, you are depriving them of their own personal learning experience.
How can they learn from it? Regardless of the problem or situation, it is still their problem and in dealing with it their way, it becomes yet another valuable learning experience for them.
You have free will at all times which allows you to decide one of the following:
(a). Do you allow others to sort out their own problems, or
(b) Do you take their problems on board (their rubbish) and try to sort it out for them?
If you are asked for help, you can decide whether to help or not. After all it is their problem, their rubbish. They collected it.
Their learning is in sorting it all out. None of us have the right to attempt to deprive another person of their learnings.
Ask yourself, are you allowing others to dump their physical, emotional or mental rubbish on you?
Ask for help to learn how to say “no.”
I change my sign to: “Dumping of rubbish is NOT PERMITTED here anymore.”